Hamlet...Facebook Style

HAMLET
(FACEBOOK NEWS
FEED EDITION).
BY SARAH SCHMELLING
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Horatio thinks he saw a ghost.
Hamlet thinks it's annoying when your uncle marries your mother right after your dad dies.
The king thinks Hamlet's annoying.
Laertes thinks Ophelia can do better.
Hamlet's father is now a zombie.
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The king poked the queen.
The queen poked the king back.
Hamlet and the queen are no longer friends.
Marcellus is pretty sure something's rotten around here.
Hamlet became a fan of daggers.
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Polonius says Hamlet's crazy ... crazy in love!
Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, and Hamlet are now friends.
Hamlet wonders if he should continue to exist. Or not.
Hamlet thinks Ophelia might be happier in a convent.
Ophelia removed "moody princes" from her interests.
Hamlet posted an event: A Play That's Totally Fictional and In No Way About My Family
The king commented on Hamlet's play: "What is wrong with you?"
Polonius thinks this curtain looks like a good thing to hide behind.
Polonius is no longer online.
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Hamlet added England to the Places I've Been application.
The queen is worried about Ophelia.
Ophelia loves flowers. Flowers flowers flowers flowers flowers. Oh, look, a river.
Ophelia joined the group Maidens Who Don't Float.
Laertes wonders what the hell happened while he was gone.
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The king sent Hamlet a goblet of wine.
The queen likes wine!
The king likes ... oh crap.
The queen, the king, Laertes, and Hamlet are now zombies.
Horatio says well that was tragic.
Fortinbras, Prince of Norway, says yes, tragic. We'll take it from here.
Denmark is now Norwegian.

I HAVE A JOB!!!

A totally awesome God-thing just happened to me. I was sitting around waiting for a phone call from Jeanne Roy, the hiring lady at Katmai (the bear park) when about 30 minutes before the expected call, I received a call from Bruce Dansby, the hiring guy at Klondike (my first choice...I've already been rejected). Welp, he called to tell me that somebody was backing out of a position at Klondike and the job was mine! So, I have a job for this summer! Praise be to God! Not only do I no longer have to work with bears, but I'll be working with Gold Rush History on the Alaskan frontier! How cool is that? AND...Skagway (the town where Klondike is) is not super remote like Katmai...meaning I most likely have internet access and can use a telephone. Plus, Bruce was very lenient with me and I report for duty May 4...giving me some time to see my family and friends after France! AND he said I can take annual leave to come home for Alli's wedding! All things work together for the good of those who love God! I'm just so relieved that I won't be working with bears in the middle of Alaska. I just thought I'd share my joy with all of you. If you're interested, you can learn a little about Klondike Goldrush by visiting their website. www.nps.gov/klgo